I've suddenly come to the realization that this blog has no focus. In other words, I'm just blogging about absolutely nothing when I feel like blogging. There is no consistent theme to my blogs. I've read several other bloggers' blogs on a regular basis and they all have themes. For example, Whit's is pop culture (this is her job, of course, but thats beside the point), one I read chronicles the daily attempts of one woman to try something new each day for a full year (interesting, by the way), another that I've read is documenting one man's journey to change his life via career change (inspiring!). So, what is this one about? My guess is that it is just a tool for me to get over stuff - you know that stupid stuff in life that really shouldn't mean anything but means everything at the time.
I have to learn how to keep my priorities straight...still waiting on the job...
Monday, November 26, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Blessings Come Unexpectedly
My husband and I are bright people - however, after this weekend, I'm convinced that we may be a little slow...
Background: Our kids go to a private school. (Our public schools are terrible). Anyway - there is ONE public school in our district that is excellent. We were planning on buying a newer house and were naturally looking for one in that school district. Problem is, there is nothing for sale that we could (or would) buy. We have been stressing for a year over how in the world we would get the kids into that school. Well, guess what happened?
Blessing 1:
We found a lot...a CHEAP lot...in a subdivision that is in the school district. If we own property in the district, the kids are IN!!! We're buying the lot.
Blessing 2:
We will have an investment property. We don't want to build on the lot. We're going to sit on it (no subdivision restrictions on length of time to build) - hopefully it will appreciate. Regardless, its an investment.
Blessing 3:
Now we are free to buy the home we want without restricting our search to the school district.
Blessing 4:
Our kids will get to go to the same school as most of their friends.
Blessing 5:
We can invest the money we're paying for private tuition into their college funds.
I am SO happy, I can barely stand it. What kills me is that we didn't think of it sooner. I mean, when we were told of the lot for sale I thought, 'why in the world did we not think of this plan before?'. I guess we've been so stressed out about it, we just weren't thinking clearly. Lord knows I've not been thinking clearly for years - I've been too consumed with work.
Work is just getting in the way...I've got to make a move.
Background: Our kids go to a private school. (Our public schools are terrible). Anyway - there is ONE public school in our district that is excellent. We were planning on buying a newer house and were naturally looking for one in that school district. Problem is, there is nothing for sale that we could (or would) buy. We have been stressing for a year over how in the world we would get the kids into that school. Well, guess what happened?
Blessing 1:
We found a lot...a CHEAP lot...in a subdivision that is in the school district. If we own property in the district, the kids are IN!!! We're buying the lot.
Blessing 2:
We will have an investment property. We don't want to build on the lot. We're going to sit on it (no subdivision restrictions on length of time to build) - hopefully it will appreciate. Regardless, its an investment.
Blessing 3:
Now we are free to buy the home we want without restricting our search to the school district.
Blessing 4:
Our kids will get to go to the same school as most of their friends.
Blessing 5:
We can invest the money we're paying for private tuition into their college funds.
I am SO happy, I can barely stand it. What kills me is that we didn't think of it sooner. I mean, when we were told of the lot for sale I thought, 'why in the world did we not think of this plan before?'. I guess we've been so stressed out about it, we just weren't thinking clearly. Lord knows I've not been thinking clearly for years - I've been too consumed with work.
Work is just getting in the way...I've got to make a move.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
WorkRant...
From: "I've become a whiner"
Location: Home
Job Title: She'll know what to do
I've been miserable now in my job for 2 1/2 years now and I've become a person that I don't even recognize. I whine, complain, don't care what I look like, don't exercise anymore, don't enjoy life anymore, and have ultimately allowed these career issues to affect my health and depress me. I'm failing to see that I could use this as an opportunity to grow, to learn how to handle things with grace and dignity and then move on...but I just can't find my inner strength. Anyone who knows me would probably not recognize me these days. I am a fundamental GRITS (girl raised in the south), and rarely leave the house without having showered, made up my face, styled my hair and put on something that matches (accessories included). Its about lunch time now, and I'm still wearing what I slept in last night (I've also taken both the kids to school...yes I was in public). This is NOT me!
I am so tired of writing the same stuff about work. I've gone back through my (paper) journals several times and it amazes me how dependent I am on writing to get through the workday. What's sadder is that I have spent the last couple of years just getting through the workday - not enjoying a moment of it and wishing my worklife away. When will I ever decide what I want to be when I grow up? This is ridiculous - I'm no spring chicken. I just hate having to work - but I would be miserable if I didn't. I know, makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I probably need intensive therapy and medication. Being committed to a mental hospital would seem like a vacation.
I think it all comes down to me not dealing well with the consequences of some of the choices I've made. I think the choices have been the right ones, I'm just resenting the consequences. Here's an example - I could have chosen to put my career before my children and be at a much higher level now in terms of title/pay/challenge...I see this for an acquaintance who put career before family. She saw immediate results of that choice, and I'm a little envious. Maybe I'm having difficulty dealing with the consequences of my choice because I won't see immediate results in my children. I won't see the impact of building that relationship foundation until they are older.
So, I have some soul searching to do for answers on what is really going to make me happy in my career, and I need to stay away from allowing my career to define me as a person. I am not what I do. All this being said...Shall we get over it?
Location: Home
Job Title: She'll know what to do
I've been miserable now in my job for 2 1/2 years now and I've become a person that I don't even recognize. I whine, complain, don't care what I look like, don't exercise anymore, don't enjoy life anymore, and have ultimately allowed these career issues to affect my health and depress me. I'm failing to see that I could use this as an opportunity to grow, to learn how to handle things with grace and dignity and then move on...but I just can't find my inner strength. Anyone who knows me would probably not recognize me these days. I am a fundamental GRITS (girl raised in the south), and rarely leave the house without having showered, made up my face, styled my hair and put on something that matches (accessories included). Its about lunch time now, and I'm still wearing what I slept in last night (I've also taken both the kids to school...yes I was in public). This is NOT me!
I am so tired of writing the same stuff about work. I've gone back through my (paper) journals several times and it amazes me how dependent I am on writing to get through the workday. What's sadder is that I have spent the last couple of years just getting through the workday - not enjoying a moment of it and wishing my worklife away. When will I ever decide what I want to be when I grow up? This is ridiculous - I'm no spring chicken. I just hate having to work - but I would be miserable if I didn't. I know, makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I probably need intensive therapy and medication. Being committed to a mental hospital would seem like a vacation.
I think it all comes down to me not dealing well with the consequences of some of the choices I've made. I think the choices have been the right ones, I'm just resenting the consequences. Here's an example - I could have chosen to put my career before my children and be at a much higher level now in terms of title/pay/challenge...I see this for an acquaintance who put career before family. She saw immediate results of that choice, and I'm a little envious. Maybe I'm having difficulty dealing with the consequences of my choice because I won't see immediate results in my children. I won't see the impact of building that relationship foundation until they are older.
So, I have some soul searching to do for answers on what is really going to make me happy in my career, and I need to stay away from allowing my career to define me as a person. I am not what I do. All this being said...Shall we get over it?
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Waiting...
You know that feeling you get when you're waiting to hear if you got that job you wanted? Well, I'm there right now. Gave the presentation of a lifetime on Halloween morning - as part of a job interview - and absolutely nailed it. If they don't hire me, they're crazy. I can usually tell when I leave the interview if I've got the job or not. I literally get a high, must be the orgasmic release of endorphins after the adrenaline rush before hand...what drives me absolutely crazy is the waiting - especially when I don't know if I can get through ONE MORE DAY of my current job! Something else I anxiously waiting for...
I'm looking for a way to get a case of this amazing wine: Chateau Greysac Bordeaux. I had it at a restaurant in Minneapolis and it is the most amazing red I've ever tasted. I can't find it in any of the stores around here and the online stores won't ship to TN (of course) - so I'm at a loss as to how I"m going to get some for the holidays. Can you believe that the holidays are here? I'm having my first Thanksgiving dinner in like 2 weeks - I have like 3 plus a year. Its a miracle that I'm not big as a house. In fact, I keep losing weight, and I'm not exactly sure how its happening. I've had two pieces of apple pie today already, so its not like I'm eating healthier, and I haven't been to the gym in four months. I'm digressing...the holidays...oh, I don't even want to think about the holidays right now.
We're doing a "potluck" thing at the grandparents' house and my aunt told me she would save me a glass of wine if I would save her a deviled egg. She better save me a bottle! She's a shrink and I need my yearly therapy. I'm just waiting for the year when she'll tell me I need more frequent visits with a professional...maybe this will be the year.
I'm looking for a way to get a case of this amazing wine: Chateau Greysac Bordeaux. I had it at a restaurant in Minneapolis and it is the most amazing red I've ever tasted. I can't find it in any of the stores around here and the online stores won't ship to TN (of course) - so I'm at a loss as to how I"m going to get some for the holidays. Can you believe that the holidays are here? I'm having my first Thanksgiving dinner in like 2 weeks - I have like 3 plus a year. Its a miracle that I'm not big as a house. In fact, I keep losing weight, and I'm not exactly sure how its happening. I've had two pieces of apple pie today already, so its not like I'm eating healthier, and I haven't been to the gym in four months. I'm digressing...the holidays...oh, I don't even want to think about the holidays right now.
We're doing a "potluck" thing at the grandparents' house and my aunt told me she would save me a glass of wine if I would save her a deviled egg. She better save me a bottle! She's a shrink and I need my yearly therapy. I'm just waiting for the year when she'll tell me I need more frequent visits with a professional...maybe this will be the year.
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